Madonna: Let me tell you something about Lady Gaga. We were best friends in 2009. I know right? It's so embarrassing. I don't even... whatever. So in 2012, I called her out for copying my song "Express Yourself", which was totally popular, like, back in 1989. And Gaga was, like, weirdly butthurt about it. Like, if I never replied to her comments claiming that I supported the song, she'd be like "Why didn't you email me back?" And I'd be like "Why are you so obsessed with me?" So then, for my birthday party, which was an all-pop-legends pool party, I was like "Gaga, I can't invite you, because I think you're reductive." I mean, I can't have a reductive bitch at my party. There's going to be pop legends with their iconic songs there. I mean, right? She was REDUCTIVE! So then her manager called my manager and was yelling, it was so ridiculous. And then she went away for awhile because no one would talk to her. And when she came back later, she gained all this weight, and now I guess she's trying to rap.
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